Friday, September 28, 2012

Some Funny Quotes - 1

Some Funny Quotes

  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
  • Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
  • Guess, how to make your dreams come true…. Wake Up!!!
  • I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
  • I am not young enough to know everything.
  • I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.
  • I do know everything, just not all at once. It’s a virtual memory problem.
  • I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.
  • I sometimes wonder why I drink; I think that it’s because I think.
  • I still really miss my ex but my aim is getting better
  • I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible
  • I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
  • If the going gets easier, you might be going downhill.
  • If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
  • If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
  • If you have something to say, raise your hand … and place it over your mouth
  • It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
  • Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel.
  • Nice guys never finish anything; they are too busy worrying about who they will offend.
  • Nine out of ten people think they are above average. The rest are in therapy.
  • Not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
  • A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
  • A man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
  • A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
  • Whats the difference between prayers made in a church and made in a casino………………..the later ones are serious
  • Make something idiot proof and soon someone will make a better idiot.
  • If something is worth doing, it would already be done.
  • Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves

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