Step Brothers Quotes

Some Famous Quotes from " Step Brothers"


Dale Doback: My dad and I decided that Nancy's kind of hot, so maybe we should just both bang her and in the meantime deal with the retard.

Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?

Dale Doback: You.

Brennan Huff: Oh.

Brennan Huff: I swear, I'm so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

Brennan Huff: Hold on. We're not going on the boat, Derek's selling the house, and we have to go to therapy?

Dr. Robert Doback: Yeah.

Brennan Huff: What the fuck happened?!

Dr. Robert Doback: We're putting the house on the market.

Dale Doback: Where are we moving?

Brennan Huff: Is the house haunted?

Dale Doback: Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious v of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes "Oh my god, I've had the old bull now I want the young calf" and grabs me by the weiner.

Dr. Robert Doback: Shut the fuck up!

Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.

Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?

Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

Brennan Huff: You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I'm gonna punch you square in the face!

Derek: Brennan has a man-gina.

Brennan Huff: You are making an ass out of yourself, you geriatric fuck!

Brennan Huff: I tea-bagged your drum set!

Brennan Huff: [in his therapist's fantasy] I've come five hundred miles to deliver my seed.

Derek: So, what do we do now?

Brennan Huff: Can we hug?

Derek: Yeah, you'd like that, you faggot!... I'm sorry, I'm new to this.

[Waking up from dreams on top of each other.]

Dale Doback: Oh no, I'm late for school.

Brennan Huff: I'll kiss you on the lips Kenny Rodgers.

Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!

Dale Doback: On Planet Bullshit!

Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel Dicks!

Brennan Huff: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls!

Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!

Dale Doback: Martha Stewart, Oprah, your wife. You gotta fuck one, kill one, and marry one, who do you pick?