Some Funny Quotes - 1

Some Funny Quotes

• Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
• A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime that still doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
• Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
• Guess, how to make your dreams come true…. Wake Up!!!
• I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
• I am not young enough to know everything.
• I deserve someone who likes me for who I am pretending to be.
• I do know everything, just not all at once. It’s a virtual memory problem.
• I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there’s a decimal point involved.
• I sometimes wonder why I drink; I think that it’s because I think.
• I still really miss my ex but my aim is getting better
• I’d like to grow very old as slowly as possible
• I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.
• If the going gets easier, you might be going downhill.
• If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
• If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
• If you have something to say, raise your hand … and place it over your mouth
• It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.
• Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel.
• Nice guys never finish anything; they are too busy worrying about who they will offend.
• Nine out of ten people think they are above average. The rest are in therapy.
• Not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing!
• A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.
• A man is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.
• A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle.
• Whats the difference between prayers made in a church and made in a casino………………..the later ones are serious
• Make something idiot proof and soon someone will make a better idiot.
• If something is worth doing, it would already be done.
• Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves